It’s late, the room is dark, and you’re deep in a debate with your own mind. It says something will go wrong. You marshal the evidence for why it won’t. It comes back with a new worry. You answer that one too. An hour passes and you’re no closer to winning, only more awake. If […]
Stop Arguing With Your Anxiety: You’re Both Just Guessing Read More »
You’ve learned, without ever quite deciding to, that some of your feelings are welcome and others are a nuisance. The trouble is that the ones you’ve filed under nuisance are often the ones with the most to tell you. Think about a relationship, romantic or otherwise, that mattered to you. Alongside the love and the
The Emotions You Keep Overriding Are Trying to Tell You Something Read More »
“If I can just think this through one more time, I’ll feel ready.” That’s the promise worry makes, and for a lot of capable people it’s a promise they’ve been chasing for years. You know the loop. Something that matters is coming up, a decision, a conversation, a piece of work you’ll be judged on,
Worry Feels Like Preparation But It Isn’t. Read More »
You know the feeling. You’re about to send the message, make the call, put yourself forward, and a voice pipes up: are you sure? What if you’re wrong? What if you’re not up to this? For a lot of capable people, that voice is a near-constant companion, and its favourite trick is to sound like
Self-Doubt Isn’t a Sign You’re Not Good Enough. It’s Your Brain Doing Its Job Too Well Read More »
Perfectionism has the best public image of any psychological pattern I know. Say it in a job interview and it counts as a strength. “I’m a bit of a perfectionist” is the humble-brag we’re all allowed. And often there’s something real behind it: many perfectionists genuinely care about their work and hold themselves to a
Perfectionism Isn’t High Standards. It’s Fear With Good PR. Read More »
Your heart is pounding, your breathing has quickened, there’s adrenaline moving through you and a slight tremor in your hands. Are you about to give a presentation you’re dreading, or are you three sets into a workout you love? From the neck down, there is almost no way to tell. This is one of the
The Same Racing Heart: Why Anxiety and Excitement Feel Almost Identical Read More »