“If I can just think this through one more time, I’ll feel ready.” That’s the promise worry makes, and for a lot of capable people it’s a promise they’ve been chasing for years. You know the loop. Something that matters is coming up, a decision, a conversation, a piece of work you’ll be judged on, […]
Worry Feels Like Preparation But It Isn’t. Read More »
Perfectionism has the best public image of any psychological pattern I know. Say it in a job interview and it counts as a strength. “I’m a bit of a perfectionist” is the humble-brag we’re all allowed. And often there’s something real behind it: many perfectionists genuinely care about their work and hold themselves to a
Perfectionism Isn’t High Standards. It’s Fear With Good PR. Read More »
Your heart is pounding, your breathing has quickened, there’s adrenaline moving through you and a slight tremor in your hands. Are you about to give a presentation you’re dreading, or are you three sets into a workout you love? From the neck down, there is almost no way to tell. This is one of the
The Same Racing Heart: Why Anxiety and Excitement Feel Almost Identical Read More »
You’ve got the presentation next week, so you start preparing. Sensible enough. But somewhere along the way, preparing tips into something else. You rehearse it again. You rewrite the slides a fourth time. You script the answers to questions nobody may ask. And the odd thing is that the more you prepare, the less ready
Over-Preparing for a Presentation: When Safety Behaviours Backfire Read More »
Have you ever walked through the “nothing to declare” channel at an airport, done absolutely nothing wrong, and still felt a wave of guilt as though you were smuggling something? Nothing in your bag, nothing on your conscience, and yet there’s the feeling, insisting you’ve been caught. That little moment is one of the most
Feelings Are Valid, but Not Always True or Helpful Read More »
When anxiety or self-doubt takes hold, it can feel like one big, formless wave that arrives and sweeps you along. But if you slow it down, it isn’t formless at all. Everything that happens is happening in one of six specific places, and every skill worth learning targets one of them. I use this map
The Six-Area Framework: Where Anxiety Actually Gets You Stuck Read More »