It is Sunday evening and the working week has not even started, yet your mind is already three meetings ahead. You are rehearsing the difficult conversation, drafting the reply you have not been asked for yet, quietly scanning the week for the thing most likely to go wrong. If someone asked what you were doing, […]
Your Threat System Has One Motive: Survival. Here’s How to Give It a Better One Read More »
You wake before the alarm with your chest already tight and your heart going, though nothing has actually happened yet. Or you are sitting in a meeting when your mind empties, your face goes hot, and your body seems to brace as if for impact. Later you wonder what is wrong with you, why you
Your Nervous System Isn’t Broken: It’s Doing Exactly What It Was Designed to Do Read More »
It’s late, the room is dark, and you’re deep in a debate with your own mind. It says something will go wrong. You marshal the evidence for why it won’t. It comes back with a new worry. You answer that one too. An hour passes and you’re no closer to winning, only more awake. If
Stop Arguing With Your Anxiety: You’re Both Just Guessing Read More »
You’ve learned, without ever quite deciding to, that some of your feelings are welcome and others are a nuisance. The trouble is that the ones you’ve filed under nuisance are often the ones with the most to tell you. Think about a relationship, romantic or otherwise, that mattered to you. Alongside the love and the
The Emotions You Keep Overriding Are Trying to Tell You Something Read More »
Perfectionism has the best public image of any psychological pattern I know. Say it in a job interview and it counts as a strength. “I’m a bit of a perfectionist” is the humble-brag we’re all allowed. And often there’s something real behind it: many perfectionists genuinely care about their work and hold themselves to a
Perfectionism Isn’t High Standards. It’s Fear With Good PR. Read More »
Your heart is pounding, your breathing has quickened, there’s adrenaline moving through you and a slight tremor in your hands. Are you about to give a presentation you’re dreading, or are you three sets into a workout you love? From the neck down, there is almost no way to tell. This is one of the
The Same Racing Heart: Why Anxiety and Excitement Feel Almost Identical Read More »