Feeling Like a Fraud? Maybe It’s Time to Drop the Rope
Struggling with imposter syndrome is like being caught in a never-ending tug of war…
If you’ve ever found yourself thinking “I’m not good enough,” “I’m going to get found out,” or “I don’t belong here,” — even after you've worked hard, achieved a lot, and received positive feedback — you’re not alone. That experience has a name: imposter syndrome. And chances are, you’ve been trying really hard to overcome it.
Maybe you’ve told yourself to think positively. Maybe you’ve practiced breathing exercises, stayed up late overpreparing, or sought reassurance — hoping it’ll finally go away.
But despite these efforts the doubts still creep in, you continue to feel the same.
Clearly something isn't working here as despite your best efforts, the struggle continues. That’s because this isn’t a mindset you can simply outthink or defeat. It’s more like being stuck in a tug of war — you on one end of the rope and imposter syndrome on the other.
The Tug of War Metaphor
Imagine this:
You're in a tug of war with imposter syndrome. It's not just a vague feeling — it’s like a powerful voice on the other side of the rope, yelling things like:
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“You’re not good enough.”
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“You’ll mess this up.”
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“Everyone’s about to realise you don’t know what you’re doing.”
You pull harder. You grip the rope tighter. You throw everything you’ve got at trying to defeat it — working longer hours, perfecting every detail, replaying conversations, preparing for every possible question.
And yet... it’s still there.
You’ve tried winning this battle. But it’s exhausting. And the more you pull, the more it pulls back. Sometimes it even feels like it’s dragging you closer to the edge — to burnout, self-doubt, and missed opportunities.
So what now?
When something isn’t working, our instinct is usually one of two things:
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Try harder. Double down. Prepare more. Push through.
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Give up. Withdraw. Procrastinate. Play it safe.
But both of these responses keep you locked into the same cycle — either battling the imposter voice or following its lead. And neither one really gives you freedom.
There is another option.
You could try something different.
You could drop the rope.
Now, I know — that might sound like giving up. But it’s not. Dropping the rope doesn’t mean you’re letting imposter syndrome win. It means you're choosing to step out of the struggle. You're deciding to stop pouring energy into a fight that you were never going to win by force.
When you drop the rope, imposter syndrome doesn’t magically disappear. It may still show up. It may still shout for your attention. But you don’t have to engage. You don’t have to be pulled around by it.
You can learn to notice it, acknowledge it, and then gently shift your attention back to what matters — showing up for your work, connecting with others, and taking steps in the direction of your values.
Therapy can help.
If you’re tired of the constant tug of war with imposter syndrome, therapy can give you the tools to step out of the struggle. We won’t try to “defeat” the imposter voice — because that’s not how change really happens. Instead, we’ll explore how to change your relationship with it.
You’ll learn how to recognise the traps that keep you stuck, how to respond differently to the doubts, and how to move forward in a way that feels more aligned with who you are and what matters to you.
Because when you’re not wasting all your energy pulling on the rope, you’ve got a lot more freedom to live your life on your terms.