Imposter syndrome isn’t just about self-doubt. It’s about the traps we fall into when we believe our minds and act on short-term relief rather than long-term values.
For many of my clients, this shows up as a familiar cycle: the more they try to escape the feeling of being a fraud, the more trapped they become.
The Short-Term Fix That Backfires
Take Emma, a senior manager I worked with recently. Each time she was asked to present at meetings, her anxiety would start doubting her:
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“They’ll see I’m not good enough.”
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“I don’t belong here.”
Understandably, she wanted to escape those feelings, so she stayed quiet in meetings, over-prepared when she did need to present, and avoided putting herself forward.
In the short term, this reduced her anxiety and she felt safer. But in the long term, it reinforced the belief: “I really don’t belong here.”
This is what my former ACT supervisor, Mark Webster, called a Loop:
“The solution feeds the problem, and the problem feeds the solution.”
Avoidance feels like it solves the problem, but over time, it deepens it.
Why the Mind Does This
The human mind evolved to solve problems and it’s brilliant at fixing cars, writing code, or building houses. But when it applies the same cause-and-effect logic to feelings, it creates trouble.
We think: “If anxiety is the problem, avoiding the situation must be the solution.”
And it works, but only for a moment as the anxiety always comes back, and often it comes back stronger.
That’s why imposter syndrome feels like a hamster wheel - no matter how hard you run, you don’t get free.
The Matrix: A Map Out of the Loop
One of the most powerful tools I use with clients is the ACT Matrix, co-developed by Kevin Polk and Mark Webster.
It’s a simple diagram: two lines crossing to create four quadrants.
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Vertical line: what shows up inside (thoughts, feelings, memories) vs outside (what we notice through our senses).
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Horizontal line: behaviours that move us Away from discomfort vs Toward what matters.
When Emma mapped her experience, it became clear:
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Away moves: avoiding meetings, over-preparing, staying silent. These reduced fear in the short term, but pulled her life away from confidence, connection, and growth.
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Toward moves: sharing her perspective, asking questions, being open about learning. These felt risky, but they built genuine confidence and connection.
Values as the Compass
The Matrix doesn’t aim to erase fear, instead, it helps us notice what’s driving our actions: fear or values?
When Emma asked herself, “What kind of leader do I want to be?” the answer was clear:
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Honest
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Collaborative
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A role model for her team
By committing to these values, she started raising her voice in meetings, not because the fear had gone, but because her values mattered more than her anxiety.
Over time, her confidence grew, but not from silencing self-doubt, but by choosing Toward moves again and again.
Breaking Your Own Loops
If you struggle with imposter syndrome, try noticing:
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What thoughts and feelings show up when you doubt yourself?
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What Away moves do you make to reduce them (e.g., overworking, hiding, procrastinating)?
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What Toward moves could you choose instead - ones that align with your values, even if fear comes along for the ride?
Imposter syndrome loosens its grip not when you get rid of doubt, but when you stop letting it run the show.
Final Thought
As Mark Webster often emphasised, we can’t dig our way out of a hole with the same spade that dug it. Escaping imposter syndrome isn’t about “fixing” thoughts and feelings, it’s about changing how you respond to them.
By recognising the loops, mapping your Away and Toward moves, and using your values as a compass, you can step off the hamster wheel and move forward with freedom, authenticity, and purpose.