On the outside, imposter syndrome can look like a set of nagging doubts. But at its core, it’s often about how we relate to our thoughts. When we take every thought as truth, our minds can quickly become tyrants, pushing us into cycles of worry, perfectionism, and self-doubt.
One of my clients, let’s call him Mark, came to therapy after starting a new role. He believed:
-
“I’m not cut out for this job.”
-
“Everyone else knows more than me.”
-
“I’ve made a mistake taking it.”
-
“I should already know as much as my colleagues, even though they’ve been here for years.”
These thoughts felt so convincing that he treated them as facts. But this is exactly where imposter syndrome tightens its grip.
Thoughts Feel True, But That Doesn’t Make Them Facts
Our minds evolved as problem-solving machines. They constantly scan for danger, compare us to others, and remind us of what could go wrong. From an evolutionary perspective, this makes sense, it kept our ancestors safe. But in the modern workplace, this protective wiring often backfires.
Mark’s mind was working overtime to “protect” him from rejection or failure. By buying into every thought, I don’t belong, I’m behind, I’ll be exposed, he was pushed into cycles of anxiety, overthinking, and withdrawal.
The trouble is, when you treat thoughts like facts, they begin to drive your behaviour. For Mark, that meant avoiding asking questions (in case it revealed what he “didn’t know”), over-preparing late into the night, and holding back in meetings. Each of these moves made him feel more disconnected from his team, which reinforced the thought: “See? I don’t fit in here.”
Stepping Back From the Mind
In therapy, we worked on helping Mark notice these thoughts without automatically believing them. Instead of treating them as facts, he began to see them for what they were: mental events, not truths.
This skill, sometimes called cognitive defusion in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), involves creating a little space between you and your thoughts. For example, changing:
-
“I’m not cut out for this job” → “I’m noticing my mind is giving me the thought that I’m not cut out for this job.”
It sounds small, but this shift changes everything. Suddenly the thought is no longer a fact to obey, but a story your mind is telling.
Responding With Compassion, Not Criticism
From a Compassion-Focused Therapy (CFT) lens, we also explored how Mark could soften his stance toward himself. Rather than judging himself for not knowing everything on day one, he began to understand that:
-
His mind was simply trying to protect him.
-
It was normal to feel uncertain in a new role.
-
Self-criticism wasn’t helping him learn or connect.
By bringing in a more compassionate response, “It makes sense I feel anxious, but I can still choose how I respond”, Mark was able to steady himself rather than spiral.
Choosing Values Over Fear
The turning point came when Mark started making decisions based on his values, not his fears.
Instead of letting the thought “I should already know everything” dictate his behaviour, he asked: “What kind of colleague do I want to be?”
For him, that meant being open, curious, collaborative, and committed to growth. In practice, this looked like:
-
Asking questions rather than hiding what he didn’t know.
-
Opening up to colleagues about his learning curve.
-
Contributing ideas even when he felt uncertain.
These steps didn’t instantly silence his thoughts, but they did help him feel more connected, respected, and able to learn. His confidence grew not because the doubts vanished, but because he was no longer letting them run the show.
Breaking Free From Imposter Syndrome
Imposter syndrome thrives when we believe every thought our mind produces. The antidote isn’t to “get rid of” those thoughts, but to change our relationship with them.
By:
-
Stepping back and noticing thoughts instead of fusing with them,
-
Responding with compassion instead of criticism, and
-
Acting in line with values rather than fear,
…it becomes possible to loosen imposter syndrome’s grip.
Mark didn’t become thought-free. He became freer to live and work in a way that mattered to him, even while his mind whispered doubts in the background.
And that’s the shift therapy aims to create: not the absence of self-doubt, but the freedom to move forward anyway.