Step 3: Skills to Overcome Imposter Syndrome
Part of the Awareness → Action Framework: Four Steps to Working with Imposter Feelings
If you’ve followed the first two steps of this series - Awareness and Understanding - you’ll have a clearer picture of what keeps imposter feelings alive and why your mind works the way it does.
But awareness and understanding only take you so far.
The next stage is about practice which involves learning the psychological skills that help you steady yourself when those familiar waves of doubt, anxiety, or self-criticism rise up.
You can’t stop imposter thoughts from appearing, but you can change how you respond when they do.
That’s what Step 3 is all about.
Learning to Steady Yourself
When imposter feelings hit, most people automatically fall into two extremes:
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Trying to push the feelings away (avoidance, distraction, reassurance-seeking), or
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Trying to think their way out of them (over-analysis, perfectionism, mental battles).
Both are understandable, and both tend to make things worse.
The skills in this step are about finding a third way which you can think of as staying steady in the storm.
These practices come from evidence-based approaches like ACT, CFT, CBT and EMDR, and they help you stay present, compassionate, and connected to what matters, even when your mind is noisy or your body feels tense.
1️⃣ Grounding Skills: Coming Back to the Present
When the mind is racing ahead, replaying what might go wrong or ruminating on what already has, grounding brings you back into now.
Simple, practical ways to do this include:
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Dropping Anchor (from ACT):
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Notice five things you can see.
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Feel your feet on the floor.
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Take a slow, deliberate breath.
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Name what’s happening:
“Here’s anxiety. Here’s self-doubt. Here’s my mind doing its thing.”
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Sensory grounding: run your hands under cold water or name out loud what’s around you, e.g., the colour of the walls, the texture of your chair, the sounds in the room.
These small acts signal safety to your body and help your brain re-engage with the present moment, where you actually have influence.
2️⃣ Self-Talk Skills: Changing the Way You Speak to Yourself
The way we talk to ourselves matters. Many people with imposter feelings have developed an inner dialogue that’s sharp, critical, or punishing, which is often echoing old patterns of how they were motivated or evaluated.
We can’t always silence that inner critic, but we can change our relationship with it.
Try these small shifts:
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Labelling thoughts:
Instead of “I’m not good enough,” say:“I’m noticing the thought that I’m not good enough.”
It’s a subtle shift, but it helps you step back from the thought instead of fusing with it. -
Testing helpfulness instead of truth:
The mind often argues, “But it feels true!”
The better question is, “Is this helpful right now?” -
Choosing a steadier tone:
Swap “I can’t mess this up” for “This matters to me, and I’m doing my best.”
Self-talk isn’t about fake positivity, it’s about developing a tone that steadies you instead of spikes you.
3️⃣ Self-Compassion Skills: Meeting Yourself with Care
Imposter syndrome thrives on self-criticism, and compassion is the antidote to this.
It activates a completely different part of the nervous system, one designed for soothing, safeness, and connection.
A few simple compassion practices:
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Soothing rhythm breathing:
Slow your breath and imagine exhaling warmth through your body. -
Compassionate imagery:
Picture a wise, kind version of yourself - how would they speak to you right now? -
Reframing the critic:
See the inner critic as a protective part of you that learned to keep you safe by pushing you hard. You can acknowledge its intention without letting it drive the bus.
As CFT founder Paul Gilbert puts it, “Compassion is sensitivity to suffering in self and others, with a commitment to try to alleviate it.”
4️⃣ Attention Skills: What You Focus On, You Amplify or Make Bigger
Our minds naturally zoom in on threat.
Attention training builds flexibility, the ability to notice where your mind has wandered and gently redirect it onto what you choose to focus on.
Try this:
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Name it: “I’m drifting into self-doubt.”
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Shift it: Focus on something neutral or grounding, such as your breath, the feeling of your chair, the sound of your surroundings.
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Broaden it: Look around. Name five things you can see.
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Refocus: Ask, “What matters right now?”
Attention skills help you reclaim mental space from rumination and reconnect with the moment you’re actually living.
5️⃣ Posture & Embodiment: Let the Body Lead
Our physiology constantly communicates with our psychology.
When your shoulders are tense and your body’s in defensive mode, your mind follows.
Changing posture can start to change mindset.
You can practice this anywhere:
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Stand tall with feet grounded and shoulders open.
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Breathe slowly through your nose, exhaling a little longer than you inhale.
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Before a meeting or presentation, take a moment to adjust your stance.
These micro-acts signal confidence to your brain before you even say a word.
Why These Skills Matter
Each of these techniques, grounding, self-talk, compassion, attention, posture. strengthens the same core ability:
psychological flexibility.
That’s the skill of staying connected to your values and choices even when your mind is loud or uncomfortable.
It’s not about control; it’s about direction.
As one client put it:
“I stopped waiting to feel confident first before doing things. I learned how to allow the doubt and discomfort, and still do what matters.”
From Skills → Action
This step - Learning to Steady Yourself - is the bridge between understanding the problem and taking meaningful action.
You won’t get rid of imposter feelings entirely. But you’ll start to carry them differently, with steadiness, clarity, and compassion.
That’s what prepares us for Step 4: Action - Living What Matters.