Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT)
What it is & How It can help with Imposter Syndrome
Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT)
Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT) is an approach developed to support people who struggle with shame, self-criticism, and a deep sense of not feeling good enough. These are often painful, hidden struggles — and CFT helps by building something many of us never learned how to develop: compassion for ourselves.
What is CFT?
At its core, CFT is about helping you understand the tricky ways our brains have evolved to deal with threat, and how that can lead to harsh self-judgment, self-doubt, or difficulty feeling safe in yourself or with others.
The focus is on developing compassion — for yourself and others — and learning how to relate to yourself with greater warmth, understanding, and encouragement. It’s not about making excuses or sugar-coating things, but about responding to your struggles in a way that supports growth rather than keeps you stuck.
How Does CFT Work?
CFT draws on a range of tools to help you build a more compassionate inner world:
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Understanding your threat system — how your brain reacts to perceived danger (including emotional or social threat), and why you might respond with self-criticism or avoidance
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Mindfulness and imagery — practices to help you slow down, connect with your body, and create a sense of safety
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Developing a compassionate inner voice — learning to respond to yourself in the way you might support a friend: with warmth, wisdom, and strength
Many people find this way of working incredibly powerful, especially if they’ve spent years feeling like their inner critic is always in control.
How CFT Helps with Imposter Syndrome, Self-Doubt, and Perfectionism
CFT can be especially helpful if you’re living with a constant sense of not being good enough — even when, outwardly, things look like they’re going well. If you often feel like a fraud, beat yourself up for not being perfect, or feel driven to achieve while secretly doubting your worth, CFT offers something different.
Here’s how:
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Imposter Syndrome: If you often feel like you’re faking it, and worry about being “found out,” CFT helps you explore the shame that can sit underneath those fears. Rather than trying to talk yourself out of the feeling, CFT helps you meet that part of you with compassion — creating more space to feel grounded and real in your achievements.
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Self-Doubt: CFT recognises that self-doubt isn’t a weakness — it’s often a protective strategy rooted in fear of being judged, rejected, or not good enough. CFT supports you in developing a more encouraging and stable inner voice, one that helps you move forward instead of holding you back.
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Feeling Like a Fraud: CFT can help soften the harsh internal standards that fuel this feeling. Instead of striving to “prove” your worth, CFT supports you in connecting with your humanity — that you are already enough, without needing to earn it through overachievement or perfection.
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Perfectionism: Often, perfectionism is a way of coping with fear — fear of making mistakes, being judged, or not feeling acceptable. CFT helps you build a sense of emotional safety and resilience, so you can start letting go of those impossible standards and live in a way that feels more spacious, connected, and meaningful.
If your inner critic is always loud, or you feel stuck in cycles of striving, doubting, or feeling undeserving — Compassion Focused Therapy can help you begin to relate to yourself differently. With time and practice, it becomes possible to treat yourself with the same kindness and care you would offer someone you love.
To learn more about the approach, visit The Compassionate Mind Foundation
The Three Circles of Emotion Regulation in Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT)
Ever feel like your mind’s constantly on high alert, or that you're always chasing the next goal, but rarely feel at ease? That’s not a flaw in your wiring — it’s your emotional systems doing exactly what they were designed to do. But sometimes, those systems get out of balance.
Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT), developed by Paul Gilbert, helps us understand how our emotional lives are shaped by three core systems: the threat system, the drive system, and the soothing system. Each plays an important role, but when one dominates or another is underused, it can leave us feeling anxious, burnt out, or disconnected.
Let’s look at each system in turn — and how understanding them can help you feel more emotionally balanced, self-aware, and compassionate toward yourself.
1. The Threat System
“What if I fail? What will people think?”
This is the system we all know well — it’s like an inner smoke alarm, always scanning for danger. Historically, it kept us alive by reacting to physical threats. But today, it’s more likely to be triggered by things like criticism, rejection, conflict, or feeling like we’re not good enough.
The threat system is fast and reactive. It fuels emotions like anxiety, shame, anger and self-criticism — and it drives us to fight, flee or freeze. For many people I work with, especially those struggling with imposter syndrome or self-doubt, this system is running in overdrive.
And when it's always on, it becomes exhausting. It keeps us in cycles of overthinking, perfectionism, avoidance or people-pleasing — all attempts to manage that sense of threat. The key isn’t to get rid of the threat system (you couldn’t even if you tried), but to learn how to respond differently when it kicks in.
2. The Drive System
“If I just achieve more, maybe I’ll feel enough.”
The drive system is your motivational engine. It’s what pushes you to work hard, achieve, strive for goals and seek rewards — all good things. It’s linked to dopamine, and gives us that buzz of satisfaction when we tick off a task or hit a milestone.
But here’s the trap: if your drive system becomes overused — especially as a way to quiet the threat system — you can end up chasing achievement to feel safe, rather than to feel fulfilled. That’s when burnout creeps in. You might be ticking all the boxes, but never quite feel like it’s enough.
This is a pattern I often see in clients with imposter syndrome. The fear of being found out (threat) fuels overworking or over-preparing (drive), which might temporarily soothe the anxiety — but only reinforces the idea that you have to keep going to feel okay.
3. The Soothing System
“You’re safe. You’re human. You’re doing okay.”
The soothing system doesn’t get as much airtime, but it’s just as essential. This system is all about feeling calm, safe and connected — both to yourself and to others. It helps regulate the other two systems and gives you the space to rest, reflect and recover.
It’s not about numbing out or avoiding life. Soothing is what allows us to face life with steadiness and self-compassion. It’s built through warmth, kindness, mindfulness, slowing down — and it’s often underdeveloped in people who’ve spent a lot of time in threat or drive mode.
If you didn’t grow up in an environment where comfort, reassurance or emotional safety were modelled, your soothing system might feel unfamiliar — but it can be nurtured.
How These Systems Get Out of Balance
Let me introduce you to two (fictional but familiar) examples:
John grew up with criticism and conflict. His threat system became hyper-alert, constantly scanning for signs of danger or rejection. Even now, as an adult, he finds it hard to feel safe with others — his mind is always preparing for the worst. He tries to escape these feelings with alcohol or distraction, but that only fuels the threat cycle further.
Sarah, on the other hand, had parents who praised achievement but struggled with emotional connection. She learned early on that being successful earned approval. Her drive system took the lead. She now works long hours, always chasing the next goal, but rarely feels content. She swings between anxiety and exhaustion, and when she tries to relax, she feels guilty — like she should be doing more.
John and Sarah are stuck in different loops, but with the same issue: their soothing systems are hard to access, and their emotional regulation is dominated by threat and drive.
Rebalancing the System: Building the Soothing Circle
The good news? These systems aren’t fixed. Your brain is adaptable — and with the right approach, you can strengthen your soothing system and bring more balance to your emotional life.
Here are a few ways we work on this in therapy:
🌀 Soothing rhythm breathing – Slow, steady breathing helps calm your nervous system and signal safety to the brain.
🌀 Compassionate self-talk – Learning to speak to yourself like you would to someone you care about can downregulate threat and activate soothing.
🌀 Imagery exercises – Visualising a safe place or compassionate figure can activate the same emotional pathways as real soothing experiences.
🌀 Mindfulness and grounding – Becoming more present can help you notice when you’re in threat or drive, and choose how to respond.
🌀 Compassionate connection – Relationships that feel emotionally safe and supportive help reinforce the soothing system. Therapy itself can be one of those safe spaces.
Final Thoughts
Understanding these three emotional systems helps make sense of why we get stuck — and how we can get unstuck. You’re not broken or failing; your emotional systems are doing what they’ve learned to do to protect you.
Therapy can help you understand your patterns, calm the overactive threat and drive responses, and build the capacity for self-soothing. When we shift from criticism to compassion — and from doing to being — we start to experience a more balanced, connected, and sustainable emotional life.