Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT)
What it is & How It can help with Imposter Syndrome
Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT) was developed by Professor Paul Gilbert as a way to help people who struggle with shame, harsh self-criticism, and the persistent feeling of “not being good enough.” For many, these battles are private and exhausting, even when on the outside, life looks successful.
CFT helps by building something many of us never learned how to develop: a more compassionate relationship with ourselves.
What is CFT?
At its core, Compassion Focused Therapy helps you understand how the human brain evolved to keep us safe. The very systems that once helped our ancestors survive threats can, in modern life, turn inward, fuelling anxiety, self-judgment, or the sense that we don’t belong.
CFT shows that this isn’t a personal flaw. It’s how our “tricky brains” work. The aim is not to silence your thoughts or force positivity, but to learn how to meet your difficulties with warmth, courage, and wisdom.
Compassion here doesn’t mean “making excuses” or “going soft.” It’s about cultivating a steadier, kinder way of relating to yourself, one that supports growth instead of keeping you stuck in cycles of self-attack.
How CFT Works
CFT draws on psychology, neuroscience, and practices like mindfulness and imagery. In therapy we often focus on:
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The three emotion systems: threat, drive, and soothing - and how they shape your feelings and behaviours.
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Understanding the threat system: why it fuels anxiety, shame, and self-criticism, and why you can’t just switch it off.
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Strengthening the soothing system: learning practices such as soothing-rhythm breathing, grounding, and compassionate imagery to create a sense of safety.
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Developing a compassionate inner voice: learning to respond to yourself in the way you might to a close friend: with encouragement and perspective, rather than harsh judgment.
Many clients describe this shift as life-changing, especially if they’ve spent years feeling their inner critic is always in charge.
CFT and Imposter Syndrome
CFT is especially powerful when working with imposter syndrome, perfectionism, and chronic self-doubt. If you often feel like a fraud, push yourself relentlessly to prove your worth, or never feel your achievements are “enough,” CFT offers a new way forward.
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Imposter Syndrome
Instead of battling the thought “I don’t belong here,” CFT helps you explore the shame and fear underneath it. By bringing compassion to that part of you, it becomes possible to feel grounded and more authentic in your successes. -
Self-Doubt
CFT reframes self-doubt not as weakness, but as a protective strategy shaped by fears of rejection or judgment. Therapy helps you cultivate a more stable and encouraging inner coach, so doubt no longer dictates your choices. -
Perfectionism and Overworking
The drive system can take over as a way to quiet the threat system, leading to overachievement, burnout, and guilt when you slow down. CFT supports you in loosening those impossible standards and creating space for rest, connection, and joy. -
Feeling Like a Fraud
When you feel you must keep striving to earn your place, CFT helps you connect with the idea that your worth isn’t conditional. You are already enough.
The Three Systems of Emotion
CFT explains our emotional struggles through three systems:
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Threat system: The inner smoke alarm. Quick to react, fuelling anxiety, shame, and self-criticism. Essential for survival, but exhausting when always on.
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Drive system: The motivational engine. Pushes us to achieve, strive, and seek rewards. Helpful: until it becomes overused as a way to manage threat, leaving us burnt out and never satisfied.
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Soothing system: The often-overlooked system of safeness, calm, and connection. It helps us feel settled, cared for, and resilient, but many of us never learned how to access it.
When threat and drive dominate, life feels like a constant cycle of worry and striving. Strengthening the soothing system brings balance, steadiness, and compassion.
What You Can Expect in Therapy
In our work together, we might use:
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Soothing-rhythm breathing to regulate your nervous system.
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Compassionate imagery (like creating a safe place or visualising your compassionate self).
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Mindfulness and grounding to steady attention and reduce overthinking.
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Compassionate self-talk and letter writing to reshape the inner voice.
These practices gradually change the way your brain responds to difficulty. With time, you develop the capacity to approach challenges with courage and kindness, rather than fear and criticism.
Final Thoughts
Compassion Focused Therapy helps you understand you’re not broken, your brain is doing what it learned to do. By building compassion, you can quieten the inner critic, ease self-doubt, and create a more balanced emotional life.
Whether you’re struggling with imposter syndrome, perfectionism, or the weight of constant self-judgment, CFT offers a path to relate to yourself differently.
👉 To learn more, visit The Compassionate Mind Foundation.
The Three Circles of Emotion Regulation in Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT)
Ever feel like your mind’s constantly on high alert, or that you're always chasing the next goal, but rarely feel at ease? That’s not a flaw in your wiring — it’s your emotional systems doing exactly what they were designed to do. But sometimes, those systems get out of balance.
Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT), developed by Paul Gilbert, helps us understand how our emotional lives are shaped by three core systems: the threat system, the drive system, and the soothing system. Each plays an important role, but when one dominates or another is underused, it can leave us feeling anxious, burnt out, or disconnected.
Let’s look at each system in turn — and how understanding them can help you feel more emotionally balanced, self-aware, and compassionate toward yourself.
1. The Threat System
“What if I fail? What will people think?”
This is the system we all know well — it’s like an inner smoke alarm, always scanning for danger. Historically, it kept us alive by reacting to physical threats. But today, it’s more likely to be triggered by things like criticism, rejection, conflict, or feeling like we’re not good enough.
The threat system is fast and reactive. It fuels emotions like anxiety, shame, anger and self-criticism — and it drives us to fight, flee or freeze. For many people I work with, especially those struggling with imposter syndrome or self-doubt, this system is running in overdrive.
And when it's always on, it becomes exhausting. It keeps us in cycles of overthinking, perfectionism, avoidance or people-pleasing — all attempts to manage that sense of threat. The key isn’t to get rid of the threat system (you couldn’t even if you tried), but to learn how to respond differently when it kicks in.
2. The Drive System
“If I just achieve more, maybe I’ll feel enough.”
The drive system is your motivational engine. It’s what pushes you to work hard, achieve, strive for goals and seek rewards — all good things. It’s linked to dopamine, and gives us that buzz of satisfaction when we tick off a task or hit a milestone.
But here’s the trap: if your drive system becomes overused — especially as a way to quiet the threat system — you can end up chasing achievement to feel safe, rather than to feel fulfilled. That’s when burnout creeps in. You might be ticking all the boxes, but never quite feel like it’s enough.
This is a pattern I often see in clients with imposter syndrome. The fear of being found out (threat) fuels overworking or over-preparing (drive), which might temporarily soothe the anxiety — but only reinforces the idea that you have to keep going to feel okay.
3. The Soothing System
“You’re safe. You’re human. You’re doing okay.”
The soothing system doesn’t get as much airtime, but it’s just as essential. This system is all about feeling calm, safe and connected — both to yourself and to others. It helps regulate the other two systems and gives you the space to rest, reflect and recover.
It’s not about numbing out or avoiding life. Soothing is what allows us to face life with steadiness and self-compassion. It’s built through warmth, kindness, mindfulness, slowing down — and it’s often underdeveloped in people who’ve spent a lot of time in threat or drive mode.
If you didn’t grow up in an environment where comfort, reassurance or emotional safety were modelled, your soothing system might feel unfamiliar — but it can be nurtured.
How These Systems Get Out of Balance
Let me introduce you to two (fictional but familiar) examples:
John grew up with criticism and conflict. His threat system became hyper-alert, constantly scanning for signs of danger or rejection. Even now, as an adult, he finds it hard to feel safe with others — his mind is always preparing for the worst. He tries to escape these feelings with alcohol or distraction, but that only fuels the threat cycle further.
Sarah, on the other hand, had parents who praised achievement but struggled with emotional connection. She learned early on that being successful earned approval. Her drive system took the lead. She now works long hours, always chasing the next goal, but rarely feels content. She swings between anxiety and exhaustion, and when she tries to relax, she feels guilty — like she should be doing more.
John and Sarah are stuck in different loops, but with the same issue: their soothing systems are hard to access, and their emotional regulation is dominated by threat and drive.
Rebalancing the System: Building the Soothing Circle
The good news? These systems aren’t fixed. Your brain is adaptable — and with the right approach, you can strengthen your soothing system and bring more balance to your emotional life.
Here are a few ways we work on this in therapy:
🌀 Soothing rhythm breathing – Slow, steady breathing helps calm your nervous system and signal safety to the brain.
🌀 Compassionate self-talk – Learning to speak to yourself like you would to someone you care about can downregulate threat and activate soothing.
🌀 Imagery exercises – Visualising a safe place or compassionate figure can activate the same emotional pathways as real soothing experiences.
🌀 Mindfulness and grounding – Becoming more present can help you notice when you’re in threat or drive, and choose how to respond.
🌀 Compassionate connection – Relationships that feel emotionally safe and supportive help reinforce the soothing system. Therapy itself can be one of those safe spaces.
Final Thoughts
Understanding these three emotional systems helps make sense of why we get stuck — and how we can get unstuck. You’re not broken or failing; your emotional systems are doing what they’ve learned to do to protect you.
Therapy can help you understand your patterns, calm the overactive threat and drive responses, and build the capacity for self-soothing. When we shift from criticism to compassion — and from doing to being — we start to experience a more balanced, connected, and sustainable emotional life.
Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT) - FAQ
What is Compassion Focused Therapy?
Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT) is a psychological approach developed by Professor Paul Gilbert. It helps people who struggle with self-criticism, shame, and feelings of not being “good enough.” CFT combines psychology, neuroscience, and compassion practices to strengthen the part of us that can respond to difficulty with warmth, steadiness, and care.
How is CFT different from CBT or ACT?
CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) often focuses on noticing and reappraising unhelpful thoughts. ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) works on changing your relationship with thoughts and building a values-based life. CFT overlaps with both but adds a unique focus on shame, self-criticism, and the three emotional systems (threat, drive, and soothing).
Where CBT might help you test the accuracy of a thought, and ACT might help you defuse from it, CFT helps you soften the tone of your inner voice - moving from criticism to compassion.
How does CFT help with imposter syndrome?
Imposter syndrome is often fuelled by shame and self-criticism. Even when there’s clear evidence of your skills, an inner voice insists you’re a fraud. CFT doesn’t try to argue with that voice — instead, it helps you understand where it comes from (usually the brain’s threat system) and teaches you how to meet it with compassion. Over time, you learn to:
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Respond to self-doubt with encouragement instead of attack
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Loosen perfectionistic standards that keep you stuck in overwork
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Create a sense of safeness in your achievements so you can take them in
What are the “three systems” in CFT?
CFT explains our emotional lives through three core systems:
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Threat system: our inner smoke alarm. Fuels anxiety, shame, and self-criticism.
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Drive system: the motivational engine that pushes us to achieve and strive.
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Soothing system: the calming system of safeness and connection, often underdeveloped in people who struggle with self-doubt.
Imbalances between these systems (too much threat and drive, not enough soothing) are common in imposter syndrome, perfectionism, and burnout. Therapy helps bring them back into balance.
Is compassion the same as self-indulgence?
Not at all. Many people fear compassion will make them “weak” or “let themselves off the hook.” In fact, compassion is about courage, turning towards difficult experiences with wisdom, rather than avoiding or attacking ourselves. Far from being indulgent, compassion is what allows us to face challenges more effectively.
What if I struggle to feel compassion for myself?
That’s very common. If you’ve grown up in an environment where kindness or emotional safety were in short supply, self-compassion can feel awkward or even threatening at first. CFT takes this seriously, we work gradually, using practices like soothing-rhythm breathing, imagery, and compassionate letter writing to build up your “compassionate muscle.”
Who can benefit from CFT?
CFT is particularly helpful if you struggle with:
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Imposter syndrome and chronic self-doubt
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Harsh self-criticism or shame
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Perfectionism and overworking
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Depression or anxiety linked to feelings of not being enough
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Difficulty accepting yourself or feeling safe with others
How long does CFT take?
Everyone’s different, but many people notice shifts within a few sessions as they begin to understand their inner systems. Longer-term work helps strengthen compassionate practices so they become second nature.
Can CFT be combined with other therapies?
Yes. CFT often integrates well with CBT, ACT, and EMDR. For example, in my own practice I often draw on all four approaches, tailoring therapy to each person’s needs.
👉 Still wondering if CFT might be right for you? Feel free to get in touch, we can talk about whether this approach fits what you’re looking for.